Saturday, September 15, 2007

A little ink.

I added a little ink to the tattoo on my upper back today.

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The "A" is new. It is my stepdaughter's first initial.

I was out shopping today...having a little Mommy time to myself when I decided to buzz in to a tattoo shop and get her initial forever imprinted "in my heart". I was in a great mood before the tattoo and even during the process. I've never gotten a tattoo alone before but this was no big deal (I got my nose pierced the same way ~ just got a bug up my ass, walked into a place and got it done while alone).

After I left the tattoo place, I got in the car and nearly lost it. I was suddenly sooooo upset. SO SAD. I am missing Amanda SO MUCH. Did having her intital tattooed on me set something off?

It's not like I don't think about her every single minute of every single day.

I don't know.

I was pretty upset though.

I came home to my husband and kids ~ the best healers of all. I'm doing better now and absolutely love my new ink. Mister Hunzer is going to draw up some additions to this tattoo that include her birthdate, her death date, our other kids' names, and maybe a tear drop.

Who knows.

I just really miss her.

~ xoxo ~


K said...

Hugs, girl.

I like the addition, though. It looks good!


the real ~Roxann~ said...

Oh, Sarah! {{{big hugs}}}

Yes, I think the ink spoke right to your soul. It's amazing that something that is perceived as so "wild" or so "primitive" can be so filled with emotion and meaning.

Enjoy the evening with your family. Not only do they help "heal" you. You help "heal" them. And together with them, Amanda's memory will always be alive in your heart and mind!

(even 10 years after losing my mom, it amazes me how it can sometimes still feel so fresh, so new and so completely devastating....)

EatCrayons said...

I love it. It absolutely looks as if it was meant to be apart of your tattoo all along, it's beautiful.

A J Doetkott said...

Her death was suddenly so permanent, in the figurative sense, through the literal process.

I Love you, love her, love everyone.

*Southern Beall* said...

It looks great!

Angela said...

It looks fabulous! and yeah the whole pain and process of tattoing is truely theraputic so of course it brough out the emotion. Wonderful idea.

CircesMagic said...

I think that was very brave of you! It looks beautiful!