Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Gonna wash that jizz right outta my hair!

I decided today that the color of clown jizz just doesn't look good on me. I dyed it back to a dark auburn more flaming red hair that could double as Carrot Top's treasure trail.

That's all I got folks. Riveting, I know.

~ xoxo ~

PS: If George Clooney, Chris Meloni or James Tupper would like to jizz on my hair, I won't object.

What? I'm just sayin'...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

{ Holy Shit! }

I saw the BEST bumper sticker EVER today! It said...

I am an orgasm donor.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Um, WOW.

I went out with the neighborhood girls last night. We started at Applebee's with drinks and apps (if you have never tried the Tuscan Cheese Dip, get thee ass to Applebee's NOW!). After a few PERFECT margaritas, we headed to the local crappy dance club for some sweet people watching, tap beer and cheap jagbombs.

I went to bed at 3am this morning.
I woke up YESTERDAY at 3am.
I did not nap at all yesterday.
I was awake for 24 fucking hours.

I am exhausted today BUT I *needed* eggs benedict for brefast (yes, I know I spelled that wrong...I did it on purpose). I gathered up the chirrins and headed to Perkins. I guzzled mass quantities of fountain coke and inhaled the eggs benedict like it was my last meal on earth.

I then decided to take the kidlets to the salon and get Thing 2 a haircut. While waiting, I decided that *I* needed to get my hair done. I just had it cut last week but wanted a drastic color change and wanted some texture (a la the razor).

Imagine a clown.

Now imagine a clown jizzing on your head.

You end up with this:

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

It's bright as HELL but I'm loving it! I was a little scared when I first saw it but shit ~ it's just hair.

(Good Lord I need a new eyebrow pencil! I used the last of mine a few days ago and haven't ordered a new one. My brows are desperate. I think I'm going to try the Eyebrow Enhancer Serum from Sephora to try and thicken these babies up.)

~ xoxo ~

PS ~ I must share this Caturday photo. Cracks my ass up!

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Go to sleep, little one...

As I wait for the Baby Boy Child to go to sleep, I think to myself "Self, it's time to update the blog." He's drinking his bottle while rocking in the baby swing. It's the perfect time.

I really don't have much to talk about so I'll just spout off some random shit and maybe throw out a few recent pictures of the chirrins and whatnot.

Where to start?

Ah ~ This job is putting a HUGE damper in my hobby-time and social life. Sonsofbitches. *wink* In reality, I don't mind because I love what I do and am having fun (thus far). As much as I like my job, I do miss the finer things in life like sleep, hanging out with friends and fucking off on the computer. I'm just being honest ~ you're fucking off on the computer right now, aren't ya? ~smirk~

(Note ~ The Baby Boy Child is now sitting in his baby gate play area trying to take a shit. If he grunts any harder, he's going to pop a blood vessel in his forehead. TMI my ass...I believe in sharing!)

What else...

I broke a filling last night. A little piece of it came out when I was eating a late lunch. While at work today, a huge chunk of it came out when I was chewing gum after my mid-morning break. It felt fan-fucking-tastic. Yes ~ I am THAT intelligent that I chew gum the day after breaking a filling. WTF was I thinking? That tells you how much shit has been on my mind at work.

I get it fixed tomorrow afternoon and will be inviting my Mom out for margaritas after my appointment. It's in my hometown and I will be sans kids. There is a fun little Mexican place nearby that serves good food, kickass salsa, and yummilicious margs. I hope I can drink out of a straw by then. Drooling strawberry margarita out the side of your mouth is totally attractive...right?

(Holy crap ~ I think he's trying to shit a tree trunk.)

Do you like Black Hills Gold jewelry? I ran across this topic over at a scrapbooking website that I frequent and it brought back so many memories of high school. BHG was the SHIT when I was in high school (1991 to 1995). My first serious boyfriend gave me a BHG ring when I was 15 years old. He was 18. We swore that we were going to get married when I graduated from high school. (Typing that made me throw up a little) I even bet my friends $20 that it would happen. Those bitches STILL ask me for that money. ;)

I loved the ring but lost it one afternoon while working out in the weight room. It hurt my finger when lifting weights so I usually left it in my locker. I forgot to take it off so while in the weight room, I stuffed it down my sports bra, never to be seen again.

(What's that smell? It smells like shit in here!! I think we have SUCCESS!! Crap. Mister Hunzer isn't home. This means I have to change him.)

When I was a senior in high school, I BEGGED my parents for a BHG class ring. Being the kickass parental units that they were (and are), I got one and LOVED it. I wore it ALL the time, wore it in my senior pictures, yadda yadda yadda. I still have it and I keep it in my jewelry box. I never wear it and haven't since my freshman year in college. I keep it in my jewelry box because I know that someday, my daughter will sneak into my room, open my jewelry box and steal my jewelry to wear to school. I know this because I did that to MY mother when I was in high school. I *loved* to wear my Mom's class ring to school (and any other jewelry that I could get my hands on). I don't know why but I did. If she is reading this, she now knows what a heathen I was. Sorry Mom!

I fished that ring out tonight and took a picture of it. Ahhhh...such memories!

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I took pictures of my neighbor's baby girl last week. She's six weeks old and just so babylicious! I wanted to practice with my camera and practice my photoshop skills so she was more than willing to let her little one be my subject. Don't laugh as I know my skills are crap but I wanted to show off my favorites:

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Here are some pics of the boys from today. Thing 2 was doing some sort of handstand/cartwheel/handspring move in the front yard so I took advantage and got some fun action shots. The Baby Boy Child was hamming it up for the camera as well.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I had to throw in that last one of Sheba. She is the self-appointed guardian to the kids. Whenever they are outside, she is right there with them. If they run to the neighbor's house, she is right next to them. She not only protects our kids but all of the kids that they play with as well. It's really cool to see. :)

~ xoxo ~

Thursday, August 16, 2007

What's on my mind at this very moment.

Stolen from Amy's blog.

1. The ginormous zit on my chin that refuses to leave.

2. My aching shoulder blades.

3. Anxiety over finding a babysitter for several days in the upcoming month.

4. The MN State Fair!

5. Sleep.

6. I need to remember to fill out school paperwork for the kids.

7. I need to pay the remaining balance on my trip to Mexico (November baby!)

8. Sleep.

9. I hope the Baby Boy Child is over his constipation and goes to bed with ease tonight. (Remember...everybody poops!!)

10. Shit. It's 2:30 pm and I have yet to eat lunch.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My new T-shirts.

The time has come to add some more message t-shirts to my collection. Here are the three I bought today from Road Kill Tshirts.

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Because it's true ~ Everybody DOES poop!

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This has more of a personal reason (if you know me IRL, then you get it).

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This is just fucking HILARIOUS and the perfect bar shirt! I just may get more disgusted looks wearing this than I do when I wear my "I came on Eileen" tshirt.

Or not...

~ xoxo ~

PS ~ Thanks Amy for the recommendation. Dudes ~ Go to her blog and watch the "Evolution of Dance" video. I was showing the Teen all the crazy 80s moves like the Sprinkler, the Lawnmower and the Shopping Cart. Imagine my giggles when I saw Amy updated her blog with this video later that day!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

My new favorite You Tube video.

I love You Tube so my favorites change every other minute but this one is cracking me up! It makes me want to re-do our first dance. :)

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

{ One Week Later }

One week ago, I was taking a nap in my comfy bed when I woke up to a text message from a friend. It said "tell me you aren't on 35W!"

Since I had just woken up, I was out of it and confused. Then I figured there must have been some kind of an accident so I hopped online and saw that the 35W bridge collapsed.

I wanted to puke.

I yelled for my husband and ran into our room to turn on the news. We were, and are, stunned. I then ran to my front window to check on our neighbor's house across the street.

He works for the construction company that was doing deck work on the bridge.

His truck was in the driveway but I called over there for good measure. He was safe and sound but freaked out. I walked across the street and watched some news coverage with him and his wife. He was pointing at some of the company vehicles on the bridge and naming off the drivers, his friends, of said vehicles. By the grace of God, only one construction worker is among the 8 missing people.

The news stories, stories of survival and stories of the victims/missing are absolutely astonishing. You know this as you have been reading the news, too.

The last time I was on that bridge was on July 23, 2007...on my way home after the Staind/Nickleback/Daughtry concert. It was around 10pm and the traffic was still bumper-to-bumper due to the construction.

I was sent a link to some photos of the collapse today via email ~ I-35W Bridge Collapse.

Eight people are still missing today, one week later, as Navy and FBI divers work to recover their bodies from the Mississippi River. Please continue to pray for these people, their family and their loved ones.

There was an editorial cartoon in our local paper today that said "Minnesota ~ Land of 10,000 Tears".


~ xoxo ~

Sunday, August 05, 2007

I was in Chicago the last few days.

I miss it already!

Had a blast with my girls ~ miss them already, too.

I'm too tired to type but did want to say that I did a fantastic job of missing my 7am flight this morning. My cheap airfare turned out to be not-so-cheap when I ended up booking a one-way ticket through another airline so I could get home this afternoon.


Sorry honey!

I also wanted to give a big ol' shoutout to ANNEX ~ it's her birthday today!! Happy Birthday my love! I wish I could be there tonight but alas, my ass has to be up at 3am for work tomorrow. Welcome to the 30s!!

~ xoxo ~