Thursday, February 22, 2007

There is a reason for EVERYTHING.

Since I was turning thirty this year, I started celebrating in December with a trip to California with my BFF Annex.

I've had some birthday goodness since then, most recently with my family on Monday night. My Mom made me a delicious red velvet cake to go with our fantastical dinner from Buca diBeppo.

My real birthday ended 50 minutes ago. *sigh* Mister Hunzer took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant where I chowed down on calamari tempura and ebi (COOKED, btw). I had some eggdrop soup and some salad...then it hit me.

I got sick as a dog.

I hardly touched my lobster when the chef put it on my plate. Once he put the chicken on my plate, I was done.

I don't know if it is food poisoning or what but Hunzer's bod is PISSED OFF. I feel awful because Mr. Hunzer rented a limosine to take us out to dinner. I didn't even enjoy it because I was trying not the hurl the entire ride home.

I've been crapped out since 10pm but here I sit, at 12:52am, awake because I still feel like shit.

See? There is a REASON I started celebrating my birthday three months ago! It's okay, I got a trip out of California AND Mexico out of the deal. *wink*

I didn't mention Mexico? Yeah ~ me and six of my highschool girlfriends are headed to Mexico in November to celebrate our year of THIRTY.

And off I go to hurl.

FuCk a dUcK

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The most WONDERFUL, FanTASTICAL thing has happened!!

It happened approximately 15 minutes ago at midnight.

I, Hunzer of Blogland, am now OFFICIALLY 30 years old!! That's right mo'fo''s my birfday!

I *love love LOVE* celebrating birthdays.

especially mine
*tee hee*

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Maybe I can use these socks to cover up my raging KNITTING boner?

I've never been interested in knitting socks until I met Cookie, from Knitters Anonymous. This girl is a fucking ROCKSTAR when it comes to designing socks. Not to mention her hair is adorable!

I was reading updated blogs via my blogroll the other day when I came upon Knitters Anonymous. Cookie posted photos of these two socks that made me have my own little knitting "O".

The design...the detail...the length...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I must make these. I *must*. BUT...they will most likely be some shade of purple because, well, I like purple.

Another knitting blog that makes me happy is Scout's Swag. Girl is awesome and her yarn gallery is to die for. SCHWING! I'm working on Mr. Hunzer so I can order me some of that yummilicioius yarn goodness...perhaps for my socks.

I haven't been doing much knitting or crocheting since we found out we were moving to Arkansas. Decluttering and storage means I have packed away all non-essential crafts (meaning only my scrapbooking shit is out). However, the day I was released from the hospital after my neutering, I made Mr. Hunz take me to the store to get some yarn goodies. I wanted to keep busy while stuck in bed for a few days. I've been crocheting this cute baby blanket for shits and giggles. I obviously have not been working on it a lot since it's in the beginning stages but I am loving the pattern. It's simple and quick.


On the homefront, little *E* started solids the other night. He loves Oatmeal and acted like he has been eating it all his four months of life! I always get nervous starting my babies on solids. I don't know why...perhaps it's because I'm a fucking dork.


By the way ~ only FOUR MORE DAYS before I turn 30 years old!! Add 13 more days to that and I will be meeting AARON LEWIS. WOOHOO!!!


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

One Year.

Image Hosted by

The journaling says:

It has been...

One Year.
365 Days.
8760 Hours.
525600 Minutes.

Since we last...

Saw your beautiful smile.
Heard your sweet giggles.
Held your delicate hand.
Hugged you tight in our arms.
Kissed you goodnight.

It feels like an eternity.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I announce the creation of a NEW holiday!

February 13th shall be known as:

Valentine's EVE

February 14th was forever changed for me and my family in 2006. We no longer refer to it as Valentine's Day but Amanda's Day. It is, afterall, the day she died.

Mr. Hunzer and I aren't big on celebrating Valentine's Day becaue there are other events within a month of Valentine's Day that hold more importance to us. The kids, however, do like Valentine's Day because of the cute little valentine's cards they can give to friends and of course, the candy.

I decided today that our family will be celebrating Valentine's Day today, a day early. The kids will get their gifts and their cards from us because they are our true Valentine's. *awwwwwww*

So to you and your loved ones ~ Happy Valentine's Eve!


Monday, February 05, 2007

I'm UTERUS FREE baby!!

Surgery went well. I was in the hospital from Thursday through Sunday. I plan to rest easy all week in bed which will leave me lots of time to fuck off on the computer. You may be hearing from me a lot this week.

I have lots of stuff to keep me busy ~ reading blogs, knitting, crochet, books and word puzzles. Not to mention the first season of 24 on DVD, tivo and Percoset. Life.Is.Good.


I took this little meme from my Annex's blog last week ~ thanks sugar booger!! I love mindless shit.

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Um, yes and that's way creepy! I hate feet.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Ballpoint Pens in BLUE. The GOD DAMN PEN must be BLUE!

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
Celebrating my husband's 39th birthday and laughing at his old ass.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
Plain. If I get them done, I get a french pedicure.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
Lots that we like for a possible house on a list of available lots. I know, fucking fun.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
Sage green and about to be booted out the door.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
Some crappy gray boring cloth interior color.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
I have one right now!! Her name is Princess Ariel Kit-Kat Von Sugarhausen but you can call her Ariel.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
A card to Annex that has yet to have gone into the mailbox (and I wrote it out early last week).

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No. I know plenty of people who live in Wyoming, MN but not the state of Wyoming.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
Probably when I was in Burbank with Annex and the fucking cab driver made us get out and withdraw cash from a curbside ATM. We thought he was going to take off with our shit for sure.

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
My four-month-old baby boy.

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
No. I know many sets of twins but none with rhyming names. Hell, my stepkids are twins but no rhyming names there!

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
Yes but it hurts me.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
A Buick Rendevouz CXL.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators.
I'll choose...herpes.

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
I don't think I have ever been to a six flags amusement park.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow:
My Visa checkcard. (I was going to say the stain on my chonies but that's just inappropriate.)

20. Last person to give you a business card?
Our painter. He's painting our house this week. WOOHOO!!

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
The painter. Fucker.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Framed...hmmm...That would be a wedding photo of me and the husband.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Last night.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?

25. How many emails do you have?
Right now I have 11 sitting in my Inbox and 419 in my Spam folder. Yeehaw.

26. Last time you received flowers?
I received not one but TWO boquets of flowers this weekend! I have the greatest friends. One was from Hero. She kicks ass!

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
"Fuck no. ANYONE who wants to get married should be able to. " ~ Annex, and I wholly agree.

28. What are you listening to right now?

29. Do you play air guitar?
Um, no. At least, I hope not.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
I'll take...herpes.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
I have four or five. I received them from various friends when my stepdaughter died. They mean a lot to me.

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
Hmmm..The Packers. I tihnk it was a cow?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Yesterday after using the bathroom in my hospital room.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
Mmmmm, thanks. I'll pass.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
No blinds in the living room.

37. What is in your inbox at work?
What is this "work" that people keep talking about?

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
The latest news/conspiracy theory on Anna Nicole's death. FUCK man, just let her rest in peace!

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
The one that I was in during the summer of 1996. Yeah. I was in a pagaent. Go ahead, laugh. It sucked.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Papa Murphy's.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
I prefer my halo.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
Chipboard letters in a friend's circle journal.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
NO ~ Are people still alive from that?

44. Are you ticklish?
Horribly ticklish. If you tickle me, I will kill you.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
Sometime last summer when I was up at the cabin. Drunk fuckers (like ourselves) light them off all summer long.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Last week sometime. Scarfman ran to the gas station in the subzero temps to get us some milk and got donut holes too!

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?
The admitting desk at the hospital where my uterus was ripped from my body.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
I don't really think I have ever parked under a carport.

49. Do you have a black dog?
Yes. Correction ~ I have two fat black dogs.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?

51. Do you find Dan French irresistible?
Who the fuck is that? I do find french toast quite delicious and nutritious.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
A guy friend of mine ~ has the prettiest blue eyes ever.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
With as much as Scarfman plays their music, you would think UKJ lived in our FUCKING HOUSE.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
Yes. With a little white stain on it. *wink*


A quick boring update on my crafty side...I'm working on my first knitted socks. I cast on last night and got a few rows of K1P1 ribbing done before the meds kicked in and I went cross-eyed. I also want to start on a knit baby hat and a crochet baby afghan.

Told you it was a boring update.


Dear Angry Uterus,

Your judgement day is looming. Oh yes, you WILL be seeing the light of day soon.

I sense that you are not happy about this for you are giving me my third period in six weeks. THIRD. Do the math utes, it is NOT FAIR.

Are you trying to wreak as much havoc as possible before they pull you out and throw you away? MUST you wreak as much havoc as possible because really...what have I ever done to you? You've caused me to have 10+ surgeries while I've given you three children to grow and countless orgasms. I treated you WELL!! YOU are the one who was trying to fuck ME over. Would you rather have been a scrotum or something? What is the deal here?

Adios Uterus...and take these FUCKING MAXI PADS with you!! May you choke on a tampon you ungrateful bitch.

Menstrually yours,

The Keeper of the Ovaries

PS ~ I hope the ovaries taunt you as you leave.

Friday, February 02, 2007

It's a new ME!

I finally got my hair cut today after several months of doing nothing with it. I let it grow out when I was pregnant and then didn't have time to deal with it until now. It's layered all over...some areas requiring 4" of hair to be cut off (and this is a LOT for me, since I usually keep my hair short).

The new me:


My husband and I met eleven years ago today. I created this two-page layout for Ready, Set, Create! (paper crafting e-zine) that highlights "My Lucky Day".

Happy Anniversary Bonz! I love you.


Only FIVE DAYS before my baby basket is removed. I've been dealing with endometriosis since the age of sixteen and the horrible effects from it. After seven laparoscopies and numerous medications, I'm done. DONE DONE DONE. The uterus is being evicted and I couldn't be happier. It's given me three beautiful children and I no longer need its services or its pain. Goodbye sweet Utes. I'll miss you...okay, not so much.

I leave you with a little poem by my friend Kri:


You have served me well
These many years
Though you cramped my body
And left me in tears

From an early age
I learned not to wear white
Like the acid in Aliens
You ate through every layer in sight

Every vacation
Every big event
You followed me around
Wherever I went

But now it is time
To bid you "adieu"
To get rid of the pads
And the strings and the "eww"

So, without a tear
I say then, farewell
And, I look forward to my next phase:
Old Lady Twat Smell

Until next time...