Monday, February 05, 2007

Dear Angry Uterus,

Your judgement day is looming. Oh yes, you WILL be seeing the light of day soon.

I sense that you are not happy about this for you are giving me my third period in six weeks. THIRD. Do the math utes, it is NOT FAIR.

Are you trying to wreak as much havoc as possible before they pull you out and throw you away? MUST you wreak as much havoc as possible because really...what have I ever done to you? You've caused me to have 10+ surgeries while I've given you three children to grow and countless orgasms. I treated you WELL!! YOU are the one who was trying to fuck ME over. Would you rather have been a scrotum or something? What is the deal here?

Adios Uterus...and take these FUCKING MAXI PADS with you!! May you choke on a tampon you ungrateful bitch.

Menstrually yours,

The Keeper of the Ovaries

PS ~ I hope the ovaries taunt you as you leave.


Pixel said...

OMG! This is HILARIOUS! But at the same time...I'm so sorry :(

M said...

I'm losing my ovary and keeping my uterus. I wonder if they'll meet up somewhere?

I love that poem. It made me laugh.

M in Chicago

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EquineSpirit said...

ROFL!! That is such a great post! I hope you're feeling better after they remove her!

dont eat token said...

Wow, you write a great fuck-off letter.

Ravyn said...

i hope you have an easy hospital stay and are up and about soon. Best wishes!