Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Princess will REIGN again!

I have a cat that I adopted from an animal shelter back in March 2005. She was so sweet and adorable ~ one year old, spayed, loved on the kids, all that sweet kitty stuff. I named her Princess Ariel Kit-Kat von Sugarhausen and bought her a rhinestone collar. She was my little baby and such a love.

A few months later, the honeymoon was over. The cat wanted to be an outdoor cat, even though she was declawed. "Fine", I thought. "You won't be catching anything with those nubby paws anyways."

Damn, did she prove me wrong!!

**** Annex ~ Quit reading now and scroll down to the next set of bold stars. **** started out with mice. Mister Hunzer and I would chuckle at the poor mouse carcass we found on our front step every few weeks or so. Then it became every few days. Then every day.

It went from mice to birds last spring.

Then she killed a rabbit. A BIG rabbit.

In front of the neighborhood kids.

WOW ~ if you have ever had to run from an angry mob of six-year-olds, you will understand when I say I barely made it out alive. Same with Hannibal Cat. After that incident, I put bells on her collar and we managed to stay carcass free for several months.

It's warm again in Minnesota and Hannibal Cat is back to her old tricks. The mouse bits have returned. Yes, bits.

Two days ago it was a back leg of a rabbit with the innards still attached, sprayed across my front walk.

Last night it was HALF of a rabbit on the back patio. The back half (as if it matters). Seriously. It was so FUCKING NASTY! The husband was wussing out so I grabbed a shovel and attempted to throw it across the pond into the woods. It was dark out and when I hoisted the shovel over my head, we heard a "ploop" and a "splash".

Fish food. But I digress...

**** It's okay to read now, Annex. See how I look out for you and shit? ****

My cat is now officially an INDOOR cat. I have no fuckin' clue how I'm going to succeed at this but I will.

Especially after tonight's hose episode. She was in the cat carrier while we were out and about and puked on herself. I took her out, hosed down the cat carrier, then stuck her back IN the cat carried and hosed her down. Imagine a drenched cat, getting sprayed with a hose in a cage, unable to escape.

Now imagine that same cat, the one with all the inner rage mentioned above, and what she has planned for me. No fuckin' WAY will I be letting her outside now! *wink*

Wish me luck on my attempt to squash the outdoor bug in this cat. Maybe she will go from Hannibal Cat to Princess Ariel Kit-Kat von Sugarhausen again.

Or maybe, just Ariel.



Stacy said...

Holy smokes! That is some serious shit! Good luck with the cat :)

nesa scraps said...

aww...see, that face is saying who me? you must mean my evil twin! bwahahaha! i have a cardigan corgi i'd love to introduce her to, they have oh so much in common

Dee said...

Holy crap, she's determined! Good luck on getting the princess back.

dont eat token said...


maybe a crazy carpeted cat run around the room, along the wall. seriously. some cats NEED that kind of shit.

Peggy said...

pretty good for no claws. I hate animals parts all over my steps. I've had bunnies too. No neighborhood kids, luckily. Just keeping my dd away from the site until disposed of.

Good luck on keeping her inside.