Tuesday, April 03, 2007

My ball is big, hard and purple. Wanna touch it?

Not even a little bit?

I recently graduated to hand-dyed yarn for my knitting escapades. This yarn is not packaged as a ball but as a twisted skein. I was a skein virgin until I found these purple skeins on etsy.

I ordered three skeins a few weeks ago and they've been sitting in my closet since. I'm supposed to be knitting socks for a sock KAL but haven't started. Why? Because the yarn I wanted to use was not wound into a ball yet.

I totally forgot that part.

The other night, I decided to wind one of the skeins into yarn. Dude. I am completely INEPT at everything knitting.

INEPT I say!

(Note ~ the following photos are actually three different purple skeins hence the color change. Just roll with it.)

Before: A nice, twisted skein of yarn.

Hunzer then thinks to herself "Hmmm, I need to wrap this bitch up into a ball. It can't be that hard."

Hunzer then ends up with this:

(Hey hey ~ keep your eyes on the yarn folks!!)

This is why I should not be allowed to knit. I can't wind a fucking ball of yarn. How in the holy hell am I supposed to knit a sock?


However, I told myself "Self, you can do this." I asked a fellow knitter how to make a ball and after she told me how, it all came together.

Meet, my hard purple ball:

Yep. I made a ball.

It took my two DOG FORSAKEN DAYS but I made a ball.

And now I will be purchasing this:

If you know me at all, you will know that I'm not really a do-it-yourself-er. I try, Lord knows I try, but I really suck at it. I'm too A.D.D. for DIY shit. Example ~ I love to paint (walls, not actual art) but when it came down to it, we hired painters to do our interior walls. Yes, it felt like a burning exhaust pipe was being shoved up my poopshoot as I wrote out the final check but hey ~ the shit was done and I didn't have to do it myself!

All I can say is thank the Holy Lord that my husband's work is paying for a moving company. Hell NO will I be packing this house up myself!


My four-year-old son just about lost his SHIT when Mister Hunzer and I came home with this tonight...

If it wasn't freezing and snowing, he would have been on that like white on rice. However, he has my wussy ass genes and said "Close the door Mommy...it's too cold! I'll ride it later."


I want to do very, very, VERY bad things to this man.


Ariel says "Because you put this yarn on my head, I will go outside, bring in a mouse head and lay it on your lips as you sleep. Sweet Dreams, bitch."

PS ~ Any ideas on what to do with a big tangled pile of $8.50 superwash merino yarn? Lighter fluid comes to mind...



dont eat token said...

Jeebus lady, I check your blog for days and find the same old one. Then apparently I lapse for four days and you post like a mofo.

We had an excellent time shaking our booties at the onion, thank you!

Nice glasses, are those new?

hiccupp said...

Gah! No lighter fluid! Please, put the lighter fluid down! :)

Send it to me and I'll unwind it, or ...if all else fails, I have a 2 year old who could tangle it MORE and stick goldfish crackers in the knots. You'd love it!

Dawn said...

Congrats on the purple ball! I LOVE your spectacles! Are they new?? I'm in the market for some new eyes.....wanna share?

Snarkdog said...

I'll fix it up all nice for you, and no goldfish crackers ;)

nesa scraps said...

i say torch that baby and watch it burn (but beware of the smell)!

mm...ryan renyolds. i'd like to be in the middle of him and a dane cook sammich. *wink*

and i think you have found your new halloween costume, Marge simpson. LOL. you know i got nothing but love for you.

oh, and miss ariel says it's not going to be a dead mouse, but a live one. heehee.

dont eat token said...

Oh, and me too. Ryan Reynolds. Hi, how you doin'?

dont eat token said...

I forgot to tell you - Taint IS IN Boggle's dictionary but ...

"The food was tainted with poison."

Oh. Not so dirty.

Dee said...

Did you ever get the yarn untangled? Don't torch it, whatever you do! Send it to me, and I'll wind it for you.