Wednesday, December 13, 2006

People of the Internets...

meet the String.

Yes, it's just a fucking string. But this string holds importance to me. I hope to see this string start shrinking in size each week.

You see, I had a baby boy 11 weeks ago. While I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and all that jazz, I'm not comfortable with myself AT ALL. If you have had a baby, you know that things shift afterwards and you look completely different post-baby, even if you weigh the same as when you GOT pregnant.

About ten days ago, I had surgery to take care of some complications from my c-section. I finally feel somewhat normal for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. I have energy again!!

Yet my body disgusts me. Annex sent me her pics from our trip to Burbank. Yeah, I'm a real fucking hottie. GAG There is nothing like seeing your self in photos to really show how nasty you are.

I have a plan in action to start working out and toning the bod. I don't want to diet beacuse I'm nursing. When you are breastfeeding, you are actually supposed to increase your daily caloric intake by 300-500 calories. Cutting calories is a big no-no.

I don't have a scale. Scratch that. I *do* have a scale but it's broken and really needs to be thrown in the garbage. I refuse to buy another one. I don't want to have access to my weight at any given moment.

This is where the String comes in.

I took this string and wrapped it around my waist. This is the circumference of my waist right now. As I work out, I hope to be chopping off bits of this string on a weekly basis. Some day I will measure this string but for now, I like that I do not know the actual measurement.

So wish me luck on this endeavor. Based on my latest weight at the doc's office, I figure I could stand to lose about 20 pounds and still maintain a healthy weight for me and for the baby.

~ My Elliptical Machine is no longer a clothing rack.
~ My 32oz. jug from the hospital (says "Maternity" on will be filled with water throughout the day
~ I'm starting my dance classes again on January 3rd ~ tap, jazz and hip-hop. That means I will be dancing and conditioning for two hours every Wednesday night. I had to take a year off of dancing because of school and then the baby. I'm ready to start it again. I miss dancing. Especially tap. I love tap!!
~ I have a new Pilates DVD and Ball. I could take Pilates at my dance studio but that will put me there an extra hour on top of my two hours per week and my daughter's hour each week.
Plus I queef like crazy when I do Pilates. Kind of embarrassing in a group situation.

I'll say it have it so fucking easy.


dont said...

I like the string concept! Yes, throw the scale away and work on how you fit and feel. I think you looked great in CA but I understand the part about how you feel. I feel that same way about myself. You're beautiful no matter what.

Jill said...

The string sounds like a good idea. Good luck!