Friday, January 18, 2008

*Blink, Blink*

Holy shit ~ Has it been three weeks since I have last blogged? Jeebus H Chrimmas in a chicken basket! To be honest, I've sat down to blog a few times but had nothing much to say. Tonight isn't much better. I happen to have a Friday night at home with no husband and the kids sound asleep in bed. I thought to myself...

"Self, either go blog something or lay in bed and catch up on tivo."

Then I said, "Self, let's do both." And here we are. :)

Have I mentioned how much I love my job? Absolutely love it. Love it love it love it. I love it for many reasons but here's one that happened today...

We had a new patient come in with breast cancer and needs radiation. After our CT girls did the radiation planning scan on this woman, she and her husband came and sat at my desk while we figured out her start date for her radiation treatments.
This couple was in the mid-to-upper seventies and just so sweet. They run a "Cattery" out of their home (it's like a kennel where dogs are raised).

I chatted with this elderly couple while getting their radiation treatments scheduled. They were so fun and so talkative. They showed pictures of the cats so everybody ooooh'd and aaaaaaaah'd over them. The husband was so sweet to his wife, taking care of her, helping her get dressed in her wheelchair, etc. You could tell he loved her very much even after all the years they have been married.

This was one example of how much I am loving my's because I love my patients!!

Another example of why I love my job is here. I work with a girl named H every day. H and I are two little peas in a pretty little pod.

Now, I have this phobia about pooping at work. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because the staff bathroom is right next to my desk? I don't know. All of the Radiation people use it, including H and myself. It's only one toilet. There is no hiding if you stink it up.

I had Quizno's for lunch yesterday and it wreaked havoc on my belly. It came to the point where I couldn't take it any longer so I attempted to crap at work.

I couldn't do it. I got the stage fright.

About 10 minutes later, I had no choice. I go back in the bathroom and follow our rules of "pooping at work".

First you pretreat. I sprayed our Air Intrusions air freshner before anything. It smells really good ~ like clean clothes. ;)

Second, when you sit down, you must sit all the way back on the toilet to prevent streaks.

Third, as soon as it lands in the water, you flush. You do this as many times as possible to try and keep the shit smell to a minimum.

When finished, you spray the area again and make sure there is no residue from your attack on the toilet (or "residon't", if you get my drift).

I follow the rules of the bathroom and end up in there for about 10 minutes. When I come out, H looks at me with these wide eyes, a devious smile on her mug and says " okay? I thought I had to break the door down to make sure you didn't pass out on the shitter."

Ha Ha very funny motha fucka.

I walked around my desk, grab my chair to sit down and find this sitting on my chair:


And this is why I'm constantly calling H an asshole. *wink*

After I composed myself from laughing so damn hard, we decided to put this specimen on the floor of the staff bathroom and see what happens. Yes, we are juvenile as hell but it was Friday afternoon for fuck's sake!

The reactions from people were hilarious. Most of them thought it was actual poop, one thought it was cake (WTF?) but it was three tootsie rolls mashed together in a piece of TP.

Love that girl, H. She is awesome!

I will leave you with my latest favorite video from You Tube...It's Travis Barker's remix of Flo Rida's "Low". It's fuckin' SWEET.



A J Doetkott said...

Girl, that was hi-larious! Go H!

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Kids' Expo put on by Metro Mama and Teeter Tots on February 2nd, 2008 in Worcester, Mass.

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the real ~Roxann~ said...

Well, I can see that you are still up to your old tricks and you've found a cohort at work! Good for both of you!! It sounds like she understands you!!!!

We have just missed the heck out of you!!!! So glad you are back!!!



*Southern Beall* said...

Ok I must really like your sick ass because I totally can not talk or read about shitting. Like at all & I pretty much read all of your blog. Sorry, some had to be skipped because I just cant deal. lol And I love that vid! Watched it last week. SWEET!!!

Nesa said...

oh my hell hunz!!! that's just too damn funny girl. you so need to work with me.

hmm...wonder if i can post your work rules for the loo in my house and maybe some will get the hint? think it would work?