~ Anxiety ~

a.k.a. "Panic attacks" and "freak outs".

I call them weekly blips in my day-to-day life.

Others call them a moment of weakness, a cop-out and a made-up disease.

Franky I'm tired of them (the attacks) and them (the attackers who seem to think anxiety can be easily controlled). Damn ~ sorry for the bad grammar there. I'm too tired to fix it.

I've dealt with anxiety problems for my entire life. My first anxiety attacks that I can remember started when I was a kid, maybe 7 or 8 years old. We had just gone through a fire safety course at school. When I went to bed that night, I started worry about my parents and scared that they would die in a fire. Then it was just being scared that they would die at any moment and leave us totally alone. I can remember just SOBBING in to my pillow every night for however long this went on. I don't recall if my parents reacted at all. I just remember the sheer fear that I felt over the potential of losing my parents.

I remember another panic attack that hit me back in the summer of 1994. I was in Sevilla, Spain with a couple of high school girlfriends for our Spanish trip. It was super hot that day and we found some crazy spanish boys that were jumping off a bridge into the water below to cool off. My girlfriends and I wanted to try it. They all jumped off with no problems but when it came my turn to jump, I froze. I couldn't do it. I was sick to my stomach and had to slowly back away from the edge of the bridge. I was shaking and trying my best not to cry.

Here I am now, fourteen years later with much more to say on the topic and many more experiences to share when it comes to AnXiety. I will leave it like this for now as I am exhausted and need to go to bed.

Later Sugars!

~xoxo~