I haven't pooped in FOUR DAYS.

Feel my pain. Please.

Even after two laxative pills, I got nuthin'.


I'm watching the first playoff game of the MN Wild vs. the Avs. It's tied 2-2 with three minutes left in the third period. We just fucked up by covering the puck in the crease so the Avs have a penalty shot.

I shut off the tv.

I can't watch.

Although if I watch, I just MIGHT shit my pants.

I would actually welcome that right now.

~Sigh~


Do you guys realize that if I don't poop tonight, it's going to come full force tomorrow? WHILE I'M AT WORK?

Do you realize how bad this will be??

Thank the good lawd for air freshner in the fresh linen scent.

~xoxo~

PS...Our goalie shut the Avs' penalty shot DOWN. YEAH BEEEYOTCH!!