A few photos to show what I have been up to.

~xoxo~

The Princess will REIGN again!

I have a cat that I adopted from an animal shelter back in March 2005. She was so sweet and adorable ~ one year old, spayed, loved on the kids, all that sweet kitty stuff. I named her Princess Ariel Kit-Kat von Sugarhausen and bought her a rhinestone collar. She was my little baby and such a love.

A few months later, the honeymoon was over. The cat wanted to be an outdoor cat, even though she was declawed. "Fine", I thought. "You won't be catching anything with those nubby paws anyways."

Damn, did she prove me wrong!!



**** Annex ~ Quit reading now and scroll down to the next set of bold stars. ****




Soooo...it started out with mice. Mister Hunzer and I would chuckle at the poor mouse carcass we found on our front step every few weeks or so. Then it became every few days. Then every day.

It went from mice to birds last spring.

Then she killed a rabbit. A BIG rabbit.

In front of the neighborhood kids.

WOW ~ if you have ever had to run from an angry mob of six-year-olds, you will understand when I say I barely made it out alive. Same with Hannibal Cat. After that incident, I put bells on her collar and we managed to stay carcass free for several months.

It's warm again in Minnesota and Hannibal Cat is back to her old tricks. The mouse bits have returned. Yes, bits.

Two days ago it was a back leg of a rabbit with the innards still attached, sprayed across my front walk.

Last night it was HALF of a rabbit on the back patio. The back half (as if it matters). Seriously. It was so FUCKING NASTY! The husband was wussing out so I grabbed a shovel and attempted to throw it across the pond into the woods. It was dark out and when I hoisted the shovel over my head, we heard a "ploop" and a "splash".

Fish food. But I digress...





**** It's okay to read now, Annex. See how I look out for you and shit? ****


My cat is now officially an INDOOR cat. I have no fuckin' clue how I'm going to succeed at this but I will.

Especially after tonight's hose episode. She was in the cat carrier while we were out and about and puked on herself. I took her out, hosed down the cat carrier, then stuck her back IN the cat carried and hosed her down. Imagine a drenched cat, getting sprayed with a hose in a cage, unable to escape.

Now imagine that same cat, the one with all the inner rage mentioned above, and what she has planned for me. No fuckin' WAY will I be letting her outside now! *wink*

Wish me luck on my attempt to squash the outdoor bug in this cat. Maybe she will go from Hannibal Cat to Princess Ariel Kit-Kat von Sugarhausen again.

Or maybe, just Ariel.







~xoxo~

Busy, busy, BUSY!

This has been one crazy ass week. Mister Hunzer had surgery on Wednesday, thus making me a single parent for the rest of the week. Throw in a showing and an open house, plus cleaning the entire house and doing our usual day-to-day shit and I'm friggin' TIRED!

Enjoy the remaining six hours of the weekend. Monday is coming quickly.

Shit.


PS ~ Look over there!! ------------------------------------>

How awesome is that? Think we can hit $1000 by April 30th? C'mon!!

While life is kicking me in the ass...

I leave you with this gem from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. SO FUCKING FUNNY!

Link to Video

"I need to get my drink on!

Priceless, man.

Priceless.



I also wanted to send my thoughts and prayers to all of those affected by the awful shooting at Virginia Tech. I've been reading about it since it happened and I cannot even put together a string of words to express my thoughts on it. :(

~xoxo~

CUTENESS!

Just a quick picture of the baby boy child. This was taken today as he worked hard to chew the shit out of that toy. The BBC is teething like a mo' fo' and it just hurts to watch him chomp down on plastic for relief. *shudders*

Anyways, he's friggin' ADORABLE! I was going to touch up this photo in PSE but I wanted to leave it this way so you could get the full effect of his baby blues.




Random Weather Rant:

I took this photo on Monday (yes, four days ago Monday). Bill and Millicent, the Porno Ducks, were taking a breather from their daily afternoon romp in the water. (Seriously ~ They hump CONSTANTLY).




This photo was taken yesterday. I took it from my dining room because it was colder than SHIT outside.




It's 70 degrees in the Future Land...less than three months to go!

~ xoxo ~

Hurts so good!

Two words...

Retail Therapy.

Finally ~ an external hard-drive!

Some sassy postcards by Anne Taintor.

A couple of knit and crochet books...

Ooooh...and a buttload of new make-up from Mary Kay. I love retail therapy!

~ xoxo ~

PS...As I was writing this, I got up to check on the kids. I look out my front window and see bare ass. My neighbor's 3yo daughter dropped trou and pissed in my yard.

I'm still laughing!

Ramblings from one tired-ass Mom...

The weather forecast for my current residence:




The weather forecast for my future residence (as in, we move June 29th baby!):



C'mon Mother Nature ya freak! What's with this up and down weather? It's tweaking me out! It's April for craps' sake. I just want to be able to walk outside, play with my kids and not have snot icicles hanging from my face.

*************************

We celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus on Sunday with an early brunch and then hanging out at my parent's house for the afternoon. (Note: church was not mentioned. BAD Christians!!)

After we left my 'rents place, we went to visit Amanda's gravesite. I had all five of my kids together for the first time since ~E~ was born. It was nice. We laid flowers on her headstone, talked to her, and took photos.

This is a picture of the view from her gravesite facing west. Her gravesite is in the foreground. I love her spot because it's totally empty west of her. The cemetary is full up to Amanda's spot. The birds were chirping, the skies were blue. All we needed was green grass and green leaves...perfection.



********************

My two littlest boys. J-Man is on top, taken in April 2003. ~E~ is on the bottom taken April 2007. I love comparing their photos.



~xoxo~

PS ~ I haven't torched the yarn yet girls...still trying to figure out what to do with it. Thanks to those that have offered to untangle it and wind it for me. Watch out!!

My ball is big, hard and purple. Wanna touch it?

Not even a little bit?

I recently graduated to hand-dyed yarn for my knitting escapades. This yarn is not packaged as a ball but as a twisted skein. I was a skein virgin until I found these purple skeins on etsy.

I ordered three skeins a few weeks ago and they've been sitting in my closet since. I'm supposed to be knitting socks for a sock KAL but haven't started. Why? Because the yarn I wanted to use was not wound into a ball yet.

I totally forgot that part.

The other night, I decided to wind one of the skeins into yarn. Dude. I am completely INEPT at everything knitting.

INEPT I say!

(Note ~ the following photos are actually three different purple skeins hence the color change. Just roll with it.)

Before: A nice, twisted skein of yarn.




Hunzer then thinks to herself "Hmmm, I need to wrap this bitch up into a ball. It can't be that hard."

Hunzer then ends up with this:

(Hey hey ~ keep your eyes on the yarn folks!!)

This is why I should not be allowed to knit. I can't wind a fucking ball of yarn. How in the holy hell am I supposed to knit a sock?

Sigh.

However, I told myself "Self, you can do this." I asked a fellow knitter how to make a ball and after she told me how, it all came together.

Meet, my hard purple ball:

Yep. I made a ball.

It took my two DOG FORSAKEN DAYS but I made a ball.

And now I will be purchasing this:

If you know me at all, you will know that I'm not really a do-it-yourself-er. I try, Lord knows I try, but I really suck at it. I'm too A.D.D. for DIY shit. Example ~ I love to paint (walls, not actual art) but when it came down to it, we hired painters to do our interior walls. Yes, it felt like a burning exhaust pipe was being shoved up my poopshoot as I wrote out the final check but hey ~ the shit was done and I didn't have to do it myself!

All I can say is thank the Holy Lord that my husband's work is paying for a moving company. Hell NO will I be packing this house up myself!

********************

My four-year-old son just about lost his SHIT when Mister Hunzer and I came home with this tonight...

If it wasn't freezing and snowing, he would have been on that like white on rice. However, he has my wussy ass genes and said "Close the door Mommy...it's too cold! I'll ride it later."

********************

I want to do very, very, VERY bad things to this man.



********************

Ariel says "Because you put this yarn on my head, I will go outside, bring in a mouse head and lay it on your lips as you sleep. Sweet Dreams, bitch."

PS ~ Any ideas on what to do with a big tangled pile of $8.50 superwash merino yarn? Lighter fluid comes to mind...

~xoxo~

Today is April 1st. You know what that means!!

No, this has NOTHING to do with an April Fool's joke.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the goodness of your heart!

Starting today, I will feature a randomly chosen charity on my blog. It is up to YOU, awesome blog readers, if you want to donate or not. Right now my list has 36 charities on it. If you want to throw out a suggestion or two for the list, feel free. I have the charities numbered and I use the Random Number Generator to pick a number for me.

This month we have the American Diabetes Association:



(The Peaing reference is because my idea originated on the NSBR message board at Two Peas in a Bucket, a scrapbooking website. Confused yet? No problem. Just click on "donate" and it will be better. *wink*)

I hope you all have a LOVELY Sunday!!

~ xoxo ~

{LaZy SaTuRdAy}

I'm loving today.

First of all, it sucks outside. It has been raining for two days. The sun has left the building. It's chilly and gross. Nine times out of ten, rain sucks the life out of me. However, it's Saturday and I don't have to be outside today!

Mister Hunzer is out running errands right now. Guess what? That sweet man of mine took all three little ones with him! The house is COMPLETELY empty minus me, my animals and...




I love this movie. I could watch Will Smith and Martin Lawrence together ALL effin' DAY. Besides, this is one funny ass movie. (Bad Boys II for those that are thinking "what the fuck?")

I have NO PLANS for today. Shit ~ I have no plans tomorrow either. Yeah I could go out tonight and celebrate Brotha M's birthday with Annex but I know that if I don't go, she won't be mad. She's got her man and her BFF joining her. I have a *little* urge to shake my ass but it may not be enough to get me out of my jammies.

I think I'm going to scrapbook today. Maybe knit. Fold some laundry.

I *do* know this. Mister Hunzer and I have a date with Jack Bauer tonight. That's right, Jack Bauer baby. We are on disc 5 of Season 2. This is our date show. I love me some JB. In fact, JB made an appearance in my dream last night. *swoon*



If you're lucky, Jack will visit you in your dreams too.

~ xoxo ~

PS ~ Have fun tonight Annex!!

Another Rainy Day

Rain makes me feel BLAH during the day. I don't mind a good thunderstorm, especially at night, but rainy days suck the energy out of me. I have three children under six so there isn't much energy in me to begin with! That was all expended during the MAKING of said children. *wink, wink*

I found out that a friend, who is battling cancer, is not doing so well. This sucks. This really FUCKING sucks. I feel helpless. When I feel helpless, I pray.

Yes, I pray.

I know ~ Hunzer prays? WTF? But I do. In fact, I've developed a deeper relationship with God in the last year than I ever thought possible. It's not deep enough but it is getting there. I've learned that there really IS power in prayer. I've been praying a lot lately, even getting the little ones to say prayers with me. You see, the husband and I are Lapsed Lutherans. We were baptized in the Lutheran church, the husband was confirmed Lutheran, and all of our kids have been baptized in the Lutheran church. Yet we do not belong to a church and our kids couldn't pick out a photos of Jesus in a lineup. Show them Diego, Caillou or Clifford and they would go APE though!

I'm rambling.

Earlier today I was going to post fun, fluffy stuff but then reality hit. Just say a prayer, think a positive thought, make a healing potion, or whatever it is you do...but do it for Tracey. Send her strength, healing and energy. Pray for her husband and her children. Please.

Peace.

~xoxo~

PS...

CancerSucks.com

Imagine.

Imagine, if you will, it is a perfect world.

Think of all of those in need. The children. Families. Charities.

Imagine if I posted one charity per month on my blog. Imagine it's a legit charity that takes direct online donations.

Imagine if even 1000 people found this blog and donated $1 each to this charity.

Imagine the difference we would make. Just because you browsed Blogger and found a blog with "TAINT" in the title. *wink*


Ahhhhh ~ it would have to be a perfect world though. There is so much doubt and negativity these days that I don't know that it would work. I may try it. I may list one charity on the first of each month that catches my eye. That sparks my interest. If it grabs you, donate a buck. Hell, donate five bucks and forgo that Starbucks latte for a day.

I don't know what made me think of this. I was showering when the idea popped in my brizzain.

Who knows. Maybe it'll work? Maybe not. But I have to try. I don't do enough to help others and maybe, just maybe, this will work.

If it doesn't, at least I gave it a shot, right?

Stay tuned...

Dear Target:

Why, when I go in for one can of $24 baby formula, do I walk out with an additional $250 worth of merchandise? WHY? You've succeeded in making me your bitch several times in the past...must you continue to do so?

Although I *am* pleased with my new purse.




J-Man, my 4yo Target addict, wanted me to get this purse in orange but I figure khaki and white is more versatile and will take me in to summer. The orange one IS adorable though.




J-Man and *E* are being baptized this weekend. My daughter wore the same baptism gown that I wore as a baby. I couldn't decide if I wanted *E* to wear it or not. After I found these cute outfits, I decided that the boys would stick to boy clothes. This way Boo can pass the gown down to HER daughter(s).

J-Man's Baptism outfit:




*E*'s Baptism outfit:






Boo is wearing a cute pink skirt with matching shirt and shrug. Trying to pick out shoes for her was a pain in the ass. They had NO dress shoes for girls. We had to settle on these ~ which shouldn't be TOO bad because it is supposed to be in the high 50s here this weekend.




*********************

I'm in a funk tonight. You know how I know this? Because I can't stop listening to the "Comfortably Numb" cover by Aaron Lewis. Seriously...I want him to sing me to sleep ~ IN PERSON ~ every single night. Just sing. Nothing else.

(that last part was a lie...)

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Get thee over to iTunes and download this song. Then join me in Funkville. I've got the Chardonnay.

************************

Nesa sugar ~ Ariel is alive and well. In fact, she left me a mouse face on my back patio the other day. Yep, a mouse FACE. Nothing else. No body. No top of the head. Just the FUCKING FACE. Do you know how fucking NASTY that is? I couldn't bear to touch it to throw it in the pond, either. It just sat there and stared at me each time I let my dogs out.

Then one time I let my dogs in and the mouse face was gone.

*barf*

Anyways, Ariel says Hello.








She's a sweet one, that cat.

*sigh*


I'm off to grab a glass of wine to see if my funk will get the fuck on with itself.

*********************

My dog says Hello.

Seriously. That is my dog. Sometimes having a fast digital camera is NOT a good thing. *wink*

This is what she normally looks like:




See? She's really not THAT ugly.

Look at the photos and tell me if I'm crazy.

The hole.




The ice removed from the hole.




The JUMP!




HOLY SHIT THIS IS COLD!




The FREEZING aftermath.




The TIN MAN. Because you always need a tin man!




****************************


This past weekend was one of the CRAZIEST, most FUN things I have ever done in my life! I was truly amazed at the kickass atmosphere there. Everyone was in a fantastic mood, having a blast, all while holding the cause near and dear to their heart. If you ever have the chance to do the Polar Bear Plunge for Special Olympics, DO IT!! Sure you jump in to 30-40 degree water but you are only in there for a few seconds and regardless, it warms your heart!



PS...Thanks for the photos Annex!



PPS...No, I did not finish that beer.