Hurts so good!

Two words...

Retail Therapy.

Finally ~ an external hard-drive!

Some sassy postcards by Anne Taintor.

A couple of knit and crochet books...

Ooooh...and a buttload of new make-up from Mary Kay. I love retail therapy!

~ xoxo ~

PS...As I was writing this, I got up to check on the kids. I look out my front window and see bare ass. My neighbor's 3yo daughter dropped trou and pissed in my yard.

I'm still laughing!

Ramblings from one tired-ass Mom...

The weather forecast for my current residence:




The weather forecast for my future residence (as in, we move June 29th baby!):



C'mon Mother Nature ya freak! What's with this up and down weather? It's tweaking me out! It's April for craps' sake. I just want to be able to walk outside, play with my kids and not have snot icicles hanging from my face.

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We celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus on Sunday with an early brunch and then hanging out at my parent's house for the afternoon. (Note: church was not mentioned. BAD Christians!!)

After we left my 'rents place, we went to visit Amanda's gravesite. I had all five of my kids together for the first time since ~E~ was born. It was nice. We laid flowers on her headstone, talked to her, and took photos.

This is a picture of the view from her gravesite facing west. Her gravesite is in the foreground. I love her spot because it's totally empty west of her. The cemetary is full up to Amanda's spot. The birds were chirping, the skies were blue. All we needed was green grass and green leaves...perfection.



********************

My two littlest boys. J-Man is on top, taken in April 2003. ~E~ is on the bottom taken April 2007. I love comparing their photos.



~xoxo~

PS ~ I haven't torched the yarn yet girls...still trying to figure out what to do with it. Thanks to those that have offered to untangle it and wind it for me. Watch out!!

My ball is big, hard and purple. Wanna touch it?

Not even a little bit?

I recently graduated to hand-dyed yarn for my knitting escapades. This yarn is not packaged as a ball but as a twisted skein. I was a skein virgin until I found these purple skeins on etsy.

I ordered three skeins a few weeks ago and they've been sitting in my closet since. I'm supposed to be knitting socks for a sock KAL but haven't started. Why? Because the yarn I wanted to use was not wound into a ball yet.

I totally forgot that part.

The other night, I decided to wind one of the skeins into yarn. Dude. I am completely INEPT at everything knitting.

INEPT I say!

(Note ~ the following photos are actually three different purple skeins hence the color change. Just roll with it.)

Before: A nice, twisted skein of yarn.




Hunzer then thinks to herself "Hmmm, I need to wrap this bitch up into a ball. It can't be that hard."

Hunzer then ends up with this:

(Hey hey ~ keep your eyes on the yarn folks!!)

This is why I should not be allowed to knit. I can't wind a fucking ball of yarn. How in the holy hell am I supposed to knit a sock?

Sigh.

However, I told myself "Self, you can do this." I asked a fellow knitter how to make a ball and after she told me how, it all came together.

Meet, my hard purple ball:

Yep. I made a ball.

It took my two DOG FORSAKEN DAYS but I made a ball.

And now I will be purchasing this:

If you know me at all, you will know that I'm not really a do-it-yourself-er. I try, Lord knows I try, but I really suck at it. I'm too A.D.D. for DIY shit. Example ~ I love to paint (walls, not actual art) but when it came down to it, we hired painters to do our interior walls. Yes, it felt like a burning exhaust pipe was being shoved up my poopshoot as I wrote out the final check but hey ~ the shit was done and I didn't have to do it myself!

All I can say is thank the Holy Lord that my husband's work is paying for a moving company. Hell NO will I be packing this house up myself!

********************

My four-year-old son just about lost his SHIT when Mister Hunzer and I came home with this tonight...

If it wasn't freezing and snowing, he would have been on that like white on rice. However, he has my wussy ass genes and said "Close the door Mommy...it's too cold! I'll ride it later."

********************

I want to do very, very, VERY bad things to this man.



********************

Ariel says "Because you put this yarn on my head, I will go outside, bring in a mouse head and lay it on your lips as you sleep. Sweet Dreams, bitch."

PS ~ Any ideas on what to do with a big tangled pile of $8.50 superwash merino yarn? Lighter fluid comes to mind...

~xoxo~

Today is April 1st. You know what that means!!

No, this has NOTHING to do with an April Fool's joke.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the goodness of your heart!

Starting today, I will feature a randomly chosen charity on my blog. It is up to YOU, awesome blog readers, if you want to donate or not. Right now my list has 36 charities on it. If you want to throw out a suggestion or two for the list, feel free. I have the charities numbered and I use the Random Number Generator to pick a number for me.

This month we have the American Diabetes Association:



(The Peaing reference is because my idea originated on the NSBR message board at Two Peas in a Bucket, a scrapbooking website. Confused yet? No problem. Just click on "donate" and it will be better. *wink*)

I hope you all have a LOVELY Sunday!!

~ xoxo ~

{LaZy SaTuRdAy}

I'm loving today.

First of all, it sucks outside. It has been raining for two days. The sun has left the building. It's chilly and gross. Nine times out of ten, rain sucks the life out of me. However, it's Saturday and I don't have to be outside today!

Mister Hunzer is out running errands right now. Guess what? That sweet man of mine took all three little ones with him! The house is COMPLETELY empty minus me, my animals and...




I love this movie. I could watch Will Smith and Martin Lawrence together ALL effin' DAY. Besides, this is one funny ass movie. (Bad Boys II for those that are thinking "what the fuck?")

I have NO PLANS for today. Shit ~ I have no plans tomorrow either. Yeah I could go out tonight and celebrate Brotha M's birthday with Annex but I know that if I don't go, she won't be mad. She's got her man and her BFF joining her. I have a *little* urge to shake my ass but it may not be enough to get me out of my jammies.

I think I'm going to scrapbook today. Maybe knit. Fold some laundry.

I *do* know this. Mister Hunzer and I have a date with Jack Bauer tonight. That's right, Jack Bauer baby. We are on disc 5 of Season 2. This is our date show. I love me some JB. In fact, JB made an appearance in my dream last night. *swoon*



If you're lucky, Jack will visit you in your dreams too.

~ xoxo ~

PS ~ Have fun tonight Annex!!

Another Rainy Day

Rain makes me feel BLAH during the day. I don't mind a good thunderstorm, especially at night, but rainy days suck the energy out of me. I have three children under six so there isn't much energy in me to begin with! That was all expended during the MAKING of said children. *wink, wink*

I found out that a friend, who is battling cancer, is not doing so well. This sucks. This really FUCKING sucks. I feel helpless. When I feel helpless, I pray.

Yes, I pray.

I know ~ Hunzer prays? WTF? But I do. In fact, I've developed a deeper relationship with God in the last year than I ever thought possible. It's not deep enough but it is getting there. I've learned that there really IS power in prayer. I've been praying a lot lately, even getting the little ones to say prayers with me. You see, the husband and I are Lapsed Lutherans. We were baptized in the Lutheran church, the husband was confirmed Lutheran, and all of our kids have been baptized in the Lutheran church. Yet we do not belong to a church and our kids couldn't pick out a photos of Jesus in a lineup. Show them Diego, Caillou or Clifford and they would go APE though!

I'm rambling.

Earlier today I was going to post fun, fluffy stuff but then reality hit. Just say a prayer, think a positive thought, make a healing potion, or whatever it is you do...but do it for Tracey. Send her strength, healing and energy. Pray for her husband and her children. Please.

Peace.

~xoxo~

PS...

CancerSucks.com

Imagine.

Imagine, if you will, it is a perfect world.

Think of all of those in need. The children. Families. Charities.

Imagine if I posted one charity per month on my blog. Imagine it's a legit charity that takes direct online donations.

Imagine if even 1000 people found this blog and donated $1 each to this charity.

Imagine the difference we would make. Just because you browsed Blogger and found a blog with "TAINT" in the title. *wink*


Ahhhhh ~ it would have to be a perfect world though. There is so much doubt and negativity these days that I don't know that it would work. I may try it. I may list one charity on the first of each month that catches my eye. That sparks my interest. If it grabs you, donate a buck. Hell, donate five bucks and forgo that Starbucks latte for a day.

I don't know what made me think of this. I was showering when the idea popped in my brizzain.

Who knows. Maybe it'll work? Maybe not. But I have to try. I don't do enough to help others and maybe, just maybe, this will work.

If it doesn't, at least I gave it a shot, right?

Stay tuned...

Dear Target:

Why, when I go in for one can of $24 baby formula, do I walk out with an additional $250 worth of merchandise? WHY? You've succeeded in making me your bitch several times in the past...must you continue to do so?

Although I *am* pleased with my new purse.




J-Man, my 4yo Target addict, wanted me to get this purse in orange but I figure khaki and white is more versatile and will take me in to summer. The orange one IS adorable though.




J-Man and *E* are being baptized this weekend. My daughter wore the same baptism gown that I wore as a baby. I couldn't decide if I wanted *E* to wear it or not. After I found these cute outfits, I decided that the boys would stick to boy clothes. This way Boo can pass the gown down to HER daughter(s).

J-Man's Baptism outfit:




*E*'s Baptism outfit:






Boo is wearing a cute pink skirt with matching shirt and shrug. Trying to pick out shoes for her was a pain in the ass. They had NO dress shoes for girls. We had to settle on these ~ which shouldn't be TOO bad because it is supposed to be in the high 50s here this weekend.




*********************

I'm in a funk tonight. You know how I know this? Because I can't stop listening to the "Comfortably Numb" cover by Aaron Lewis. Seriously...I want him to sing me to sleep ~ IN PERSON ~ every single night. Just sing. Nothing else.

(that last part was a lie...)

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Get thee over to iTunes and download this song. Then join me in Funkville. I've got the Chardonnay.

************************

Nesa sugar ~ Ariel is alive and well. In fact, she left me a mouse face on my back patio the other day. Yep, a mouse FACE. Nothing else. No body. No top of the head. Just the FUCKING FACE. Do you know how fucking NASTY that is? I couldn't bear to touch it to throw it in the pond, either. It just sat there and stared at me each time I let my dogs out.

Then one time I let my dogs in and the mouse face was gone.

*barf*

Anyways, Ariel says Hello.








She's a sweet one, that cat.

*sigh*


I'm off to grab a glass of wine to see if my funk will get the fuck on with itself.

*********************

My dog says Hello.

Seriously. That is my dog. Sometimes having a fast digital camera is NOT a good thing. *wink*

This is what she normally looks like:




See? She's really not THAT ugly.

Look at the photos and tell me if I'm crazy.

The hole.




The ice removed from the hole.




The JUMP!




HOLY SHIT THIS IS COLD!




The FREEZING aftermath.




The TIN MAN. Because you always need a tin man!




****************************


This past weekend was one of the CRAZIEST, most FUN things I have ever done in my life! I was truly amazed at the kickass atmosphere there. Everyone was in a fantastic mood, having a blast, all while holding the cause near and dear to their heart. If you ever have the chance to do the Polar Bear Plunge for Special Olympics, DO IT!! Sure you jump in to 30-40 degree water but you are only in there for a few seconds and regardless, it warms your heart!



PS...Thanks for the photos Annex!



PPS...No, I did not finish that beer.

Tuesday March 6th will be remembered FOREVER!!

That is the day that I met the one and only, Aaron Lewis of Staind!! Husband and I almost missed the Meet and Greet due to snow and the late babysitter (because of the snow). Thankfully we got there with a few minutes to spare, met Aaron, got his autograph and all that "Meet and Greet" business. I think he may have been spending time in his "herbal garden" before the M&G but that's just me...







We were in the front row, dead center. The man was literally 10 feet away from me while he was playing. He played for a kickass two-and-a-half hours. It was amazing. Amazing and different as I'm used to seeing Staind with the loud music, moshing and general fun rock concert atmosphere. This was in a small theater, the crowd was quiet while he sang and there was no dancing/moshing whatsoever. Throughout the show you could yell out requests. Since I was so close, I yelled out "Amanda" and he started to play it (Boston). He only did a few chords but it rocked. (I have a special connection to Staind's music because of my stepdaughter, Amanda)



Cameras were not allowed in the theater so I snuck the one above with my cell phone. Two minutes later, security was bitching at me.

I decided to snap a photo during the encore because at that point, I knew it was the end and if they wanted to kick me out, so be it. I had my cell phone lined up to take the pic and right when I snapped it, some drunk bitch behind me hit me in the shoulder and said " you will get kicked out!!!" This is the product of that moment:



On the way out, we passed by his tour bus (well, I assume it's his tour bus). I feel sorry for whoever had to ride the bike.



I stole his setlist off the Staind.com message board because there is no way in hell I could remember every song he sang. I know that he sang my favorites though!

Please
Devil
Outside
Sober
Nutshell
Bong Hits for Breakfast
Brother
Zoe Jane
It's Been a While
Black Rain
Black ( Pearl Jam cover)
So Far Away
Schizophrenic Conversations
Epiphany
Something Like Me

Encore:

It's Been a While
Right Here (my Amanda song and he confirmed it by saying it was about unconditional love)


There you have it!! That was one of my favorite concerts of all time. Thank you honey ~ it was a WONDERFUL birthday present!!

~xoxo~

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I rarely check my spam folder but I did today because I'm waiting on an email from someone. I came across this gem and it made me chuckle.

Subject: RE: After taking Penis Enlarge Patch make you sure your dick doesnt make too much shadow on the beach.

Whatever dude ~ just don't block MY sun.

***********************

I took the wee ones bowling today after I picked up my daughter from kindergarten. As I pulled in to the parking lot, this gem was awaiting my visual pleasure:

Nothing says clASS like a Dodge Ram pickup painted like the General Fuckin' Lee baby! The confederate flag on the back really seals the deal. Where can I find me the man who drives this beaut? *eyeroll*

***********************

I realized today that I can bowl much better when I am holding the bowling ball in my right hand and one of my kids' hands in my left. When I am left alone to bowl, in those rare moments, I can't seem to do as well. Why is that?

**********************

I never really understood the excitement behind the show "24".

Until now.

Mister Hunzer and I finished watching season one tonight. HOLY SHITBALLS. My heart is STILL pounding from the last two episodes! I cannot wait to start season two.

The actor that plays Senator Palmer has stolen my heart. He was amazing in season one. I haven't a clue how many seasons he is in but hopefully he's in all of them!

**********************

I lost my digital camera about two weeks ago. I had it the night I went out to celebrate my birthday with Annex but have not seen it since. Chances are I packed it away in some box while rushing to get the house ready to go on the market that same weekend.

At any rate, I convinced Mister Hunzer to let me get a new camera. Not just a new one but the one I have had my eye on for quite some time. One that, if I lose it, my husband will have me by the balls.

Here she is:

I finally have my digital SLR. YAY ME! I have a regular SLR camera but I haven't used it in a few years. I think it might be time to sell that bad boy on Craigslist.

I can't wait to get the camera and all the goodies I ordered with it. I will be one happy little camper. If you hear a little squeal of delight coming from this direction, it's me opening the door to the UPS man on Tuesday.

***************************

It's 2:20am and I'm wide awake. I *must* go to bed! I will leave you with this little remnant from Tuesday night.

What? You know ~ Tuesday!! The night I met Aaron Lewis of Staind? I may have mentioned it once or twice in the past.

Anyways, we had front row seats, dead center. The man played his acoustic show...all TWO AND A HALF HOURS of it...about ten feet in front of me. It was unreal. I'm still on an emotional high from it. He's amazing! Cameras were not allowed during the show but I snapped this one with my cell phone before he took the stage.

Goodnight all ~ and behave this weekend!

~xoxo~

*sniff, sniff*

My five-year-old daughter drew this photo of her big sister watching over her from heaven.

I hate that my little girl has a broken heart at the age of five. *sniff, sniff*




~ xoxo ~

The View.

Mister Hunzer and I are back from spending a week in Arkansas with the kids. House-hunting was the main focus of this trip. Forty-eight hours after arriving (and my first 48 hours EVER in Arkansas), we purchased a lot for our new house. This is the view looking out of the back of our house.



They won't start construction on the house until April so it'll be several months before we move in.

That's it for now. I'm freakin' pooped. I'm so glad to be home because everyone here is sick but I do miss Arkansas already. I was pleasantly surprised at how beautiful it can be!

~XOXO~

PS...Only TWO MORE DAYS until I meet Aaron Lewis!! YEAH BABY!

This is so wrong but so funny!

There is a reason for EVERYTHING.

Since I was turning thirty this year, I started celebrating in December with a trip to California with my BFF Annex.

I've had some birthday goodness since then, most recently with my family on Monday night. My Mom made me a delicious red velvet cake to go with our fantastical dinner from Buca diBeppo.

My real birthday ended 50 minutes ago. *sigh* Mister Hunzer took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant where I chowed down on calamari tempura and ebi (COOKED, btw). I had some eggdrop soup and some salad...then it hit me.

I got sick as a dog.

I hardly touched my lobster when the chef put it on my plate. Once he put the chicken on my plate, I was done.

I don't know if it is food poisoning or what but Hunzer's bod is PISSED OFF. I feel awful because Mr. Hunzer rented a limosine to take us out to dinner. I didn't even enjoy it because I was trying not the hurl the entire ride home.

I've been crapped out since 10pm but here I sit, at 12:52am, awake because I still feel like shit.

See? There is a REASON I started celebrating my birthday three months ago! It's okay, I got a trip out of California AND Mexico out of the deal. *wink*

I didn't mention Mexico? Yeah ~ me and six of my highschool girlfriends are headed to Mexico in November to celebrate our year of THIRTY.




And off I go to hurl.

FuCk a dUcK

The most WONDERFUL, FanTASTICAL thing has happened!!

It happened approximately 15 minutes ago at midnight.

I, Hunzer of Blogland, am now OFFICIALLY 30 years old!! That's right mo'fo's...it's my birfday!

I *love love LOVE* celebrating birthdays.

especially mine

*tee hee*

Have a wonderful day everyone!!