{Chilly}

BRRRRR!

I just got home from a 90 minute motorcycle ride. It was not a warm ride. It was in the mid-50s and very windy. I was cozy and bundled up, including my helmet. It was nice to have some fresh air after my stressful week.

I enjoyed looking at the fall foliage while breathing in the crisp fall air through my helmet's wind vents, snuggled up to the on-again-off-again boyfriend (who is close to becoming the on-again type). I know, I know...I have relationship A.D.D.

I hope everyone is doing well. It's amazing what 24 hours can do to your psyche. Last night I was sad, called my Mom crying, sat with my next door neighbor and cried while she also cried...

Today I'm smiling and enjoying the smell of beautiful lillies on my kitchen table.

~ xoxo ~

{Blue}.

That is my heart tonight.

How can I love my job so much yet hate it with every ounce of my being? I work at a cancer clinic. I've been there exactly one year. I love my job. I feel like I have found my niche.

But I hate that I have a job because of cancer.

I hate that I meet these absolutely wonderful, uplifting people every day and know that there is nothing I can do to medically help them. I hate that cancer is killing Moms, Dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents, friends, and strangers. I fucking HATE IT.

We have a patient right now that is in the fight of her life. She is young, has young children, has a wonderful husband...and is in the fight of her life. I'm scared for her. I'm scared for her babies. I'm scared for her husband. I'm angry for her. I cannot stop thinking about her. She's my age. Her children are the same age as mine. She's got a beautiful smile, a beautiful family and a wonderful attitude.

I wish that I could detach myself from the patients like some of the people at the clinic. I can't. Every patient has a story. Every patient is loved by someone. Every patient is fighting for their life. I can't help but get attached to them.

When cancer defeats them, my heart breaks. It breaks over and over again on a daily basis.

I want to drop-kick cancer in its balls.


~ xoxo ~

I got a giggle from these kittehs.

My new favorite Obama picture!!

Cracks my ass up.

I'm going to try this "planning" thing.

Several of my girlfriends have blogs. Being a busy mom/employee/student, I rarely have time to sit down and talk with my friends so blogging helps me catch a glimpse into their lives. I absolutely love blogs for this reason.

Some of them blog about what they have planned for the week, be it activities, menus, etc.

At the end of each day, I feel like I just barely kept my head above water with all the shit I have going on in my life. When I say shit I mean stuff because it's all good. No major dramz, everyone is happy and everyone is healthy. I just need to find a way to become more organized. Therefore, I'm going to write a quick "to-do" list here to see if it helps me get anything accomplished this week. :)

Monday: Work. Call school to add my house to the bus route. Birthday dinner for the Boyfriend at Fogo de Chao. Watch football. Tweak my final paper of my first MBA course before submitting it.

Tuesday: Work. First day of my next class, do homework. Vacuum floors. Clean kitchen. Fold Laundry.

Wednesday: Work. Pick up kids from their dad's house. Hang out at home with kids and attempt homework. Make dinner (any suggestions??). Clean bathrooms.

Thursday: Work. Take Thing 1 to dance. Dinner (again, need ideas!). Do homework. Play PS2 with the kids.

Friday: Work. Lay low with the kids ALL WEEKEND LONG. Do homework, clean the house, catch up on laundry.


That was hard to do!

~ xoxo ~